Confessions of a Postgraduate Rep

  Trigger Warning: Mental health, suicide, self-harm For those who have a pair of eyes, you may notice that I wasn't on campus this week, or last week, or the week before that. Some say that if you say my name 3 times, I might appear to which I say, please don't do that. It won't work. People have already tried it. For those who want to know where I have been, I have been in my hometown. You see, I now have depression and I'm on medication. A lot of people will now ask me why. If there are any moments that caused it. When did I know that something wasn't right? For me, I knew that I couldn't hide away any more about a month ago. It was a Wednesday morning. I woke up early, had a shower, played some music and grabbed some cereal. Then I just cried. No reason. None of the music was sad. I had 2 of my favorite classes that day but I just sat on the table bawling. I couldn't even finish my cereal. I then cried for about 3 hours non-stop. At best, I cou...

Let me explain something to you, I can see why the dropout and depression rates for PGs is so god damn high. I am 5 weeks into my course now and I'm in bed crying as opposed to my Sociolinguistics workshop? Why? Because I don't feel like I can do it. I feel like dropping out of University or changing course or just doing something that isn't being in that bloody classroom. I am going through all the unsettlement that I had as a Freshling. I have to be able to trust somebody that has yet to teach me to be able to explain what I am feeling. Somedays I sit in the classroom with no idea of what's going on, scared to say something because I'm worried that I'll sound stupid. The reading is confusing at best and overwhelming at worst. I have gone from simple 'yes. I spotted this,' in undergraduate to 'Which one because they all looked the same after page 2 and it doesn't help that there's overlap and a lot of things talk about the same bloody ...